


The End of the World

by madamehomesecretary



Category: Bodyguard (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Back at the Blackwood, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:02:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24483988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madamehomesecretary/pseuds/madamehomesecretary
Summary: “You coming here was a bad idea.”“When have we ever let that stop us?” David meant it as a joke, but his voice trailed off as Julia met his gaze across the room, her eyes narrowing at his attempt to lighten the mood.“I know exactly how this ends, David,” she said sadly.There is another attack on Julia after her return to London, and when David hears about it, he needs to see for himself that she really is okay. Even if she doesn't want to see him.
Relationships: David Budd/Julia Montague
Comments: 24
Kudos: 114
Collections: In Lockdown With Keeley





	The End of the World

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is just a little something I put together for the challenge. The prompt I used was “I know exactly how this ends." The song "If the World was Ending" by JP Saxe and Julia Michaels was my inspiration for this one. I highly suggest listening to it on repeat so it stabs you in the feels as much as it stabbed me. 
> 
> Thanks, Vee, for putting this together! I really enjoyed trying to figure this one out! Hope y'all like it. :)

The surprise showed clearly on her face as he peeked his head around the guard that was employed to stand watch at the door of her hotel suite. A position he had been all to familiar with at one point. 

Her eyes widened as they came face-to-face for the first time in almost ten months. He thought he might have seen her soften the slightest bit toward him at his unexpected appearance. And then, just like that, it was gone. Replaced with a look he couldn’t quite name. Disdain? Frustration? He honestly wasn’t sure. 

The guard looked between them uncertainly, sure he had broken protocol in every way just by letting David in to see her. He wondered if he would pay for this later. If the authoritative woman standing in front of him would report him to his supervisor. He could already see desk duty in his future.

“Ma’am?” The officer said dryly, his eyes meeting Julia’s nervously. “Should I escort Mr. Budd out?” He asked. They were still awkwardly standing in the hallway together, with Julia leaning against the door of her suite. His gaze moved between the two of them, suddenly feeling very confused with what the  _ right _ thing to do was. 

David felt his breath catch in his throat. He hadn’t considered that she wouldn’t see him, though he guessed he probably should have thought about that before he drove halfway across town to show up on her doorstep like this. 

He hadn’t  _ meant  _ to end up at the Blackwood thought. He had been driving home from an utterly frustrating day of desk duty when it came across the radio that there had been another attack. An attack on Julia Montague. 

He had suddenly felt his heart seize in his chest, and he thought he might actually know what it felt like to have your blood suddenly run cold. 

_ Former Home Secretary Julia Montague was reportedly uninjured in the attack, the third attempt on her life in just a little over a year. She is currently being held at an undisclosed location until more can be found out about the nature of this attack.  _

David was already turning off the main road to head in the opposite direction toward South London. He drove on autopilot to The Blackwood Hotel, assuming they would have put her up in the same place as the last time. The Blackwood. He hadn’t been there since … well, that didn’t matter. He needed to see with his own eyes that she was alive. He couldn’t lose her like this … not again. 

The realization put an abrupt stop to David’s thoughts.  _ She wasn’t his to lose anymore…  _

“It’s alright,” she finally said, her eyes meeting David’s again. The silence had stretched on for far too long between them, and David really had begun to wonder if she was going to turn him away on top of everything else that had happened today. 

“He can come in,” she continued, her words still not directed at David. He felt his stomach tense as she turned and walked away from the door, leaving it open in a clearly begrudging invitation to him. Giving a curt nod to the guard, he followed her into the room, shutting the door quietly behind him. 

He watched as she returned to the desk in the corner -- the one they had fucked on during more than one occasion -- to make herself a cup of tea. That seemed like a lifetime ago.

However, the room, and the situation, seemed eerily familiar in the light of the day’s events. Though this time, David had gone out of his way to seek her out. To see with his own eyes she was okay. Unlike the night  _ she _ had summoned  _ him _ to the Blackwood for what would unknowingly be the start of a month-long love affair. 

Her back was to him, and neither of them had spoken since he entered the room. The clock on the wall ticked away with an exaggerated sound that echoed loudly in the silence. He began to wonder how long this awkward silence could stretch between them before he turned and left the suite, and the hotel, altogether, waving his white flag of surrender. He cleared his throat, and watched as her body visibly tensed at the reminder he was still there. 

Her shoulders hunched up the slightest bit as she drew into herself, and he frowned. He had never seen her have that reaction to him before. 

“David.” 

The way she said his name was quiet, but you could tell it felt heavy coming from her lips. She still wouldn’t turn to look at him as she busied herself with her tea, stirring sugar into it. She needed to keep her hands busy. To hide the shaking. And to give her something to  _ do. _

The words that came next felt like a direct assault, and David thought he might be sick.

“You can’t be here,” she reminded him. 

It was quiet, but the statement seemed to echo hollowly around the room in the silence. 

“But I am here,” he responded quickly, no hesitation in his voice. It was then that she turned to look at him for the first time, taking a sip of her tea and holding the porcelain of the mug between her palms to warm her hands. 

She had showered and thrown on a pair of leggings and her favorite oversized sweater that she’d had Kim bring over. David knew it well from their time together. When she felt scared or overwhelmed, or if things were just  _ too much _ , it was always that sweater that gave her the extra confidence and comfort she needed to make a hard choice. 

It had been the sweater she was wearing the last time he saw her. It had been three days since she had mysteriously “returned from the dead,” as the headlines claimed. Though David reasoned you could never return from the dead if you weren’t dead in the first place. Instead, Julia had been hiding in central Italy. Tuscany, he would later find out. 

Anne Sampson had taken it upon herself to hide Julia from view as they carried out the search for the people who tried to kill her for a second time. She had returned to London almost three months later, looking tired and thin, but to David, in that moment, she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. 

He had wrapped her up in his arms, and promised to never let her go. And then … the news of their affair was leaked. An audio recording. And a massive, career-ending scandal to go with it.

“Someone might have seen you come in…,” Julia said quietly. Her excuse was weak, and they both knew it. 

“I don’t care,” David said, shrugging, his tone flat. “We both saw the headlines. Haven’t they done their worst?” He reasoned.

Still, she said nothing. Leaning against the desk for support, David watched as he thought he saw her hand tremble slightly against her mug. 

“Julia, someone tried to kill you tonight,” he reminded her. “Can’t you just let me check for myself that you’re okay?”

“You’d think I would be used to it by now,” she said, attempting dry humor to hide the bitter tone in her voice. She looked down at the desk, running her index finger across the tea service. This was too familiar. There were too many feelings and memories attached to this place. To being here with him.

“It just seems like a bad idea…” Her words trailed off as she turned to face him, and she chose the next ones carefully. “You coming here was a bad idea.” 

“When have we ever let that stop us?” David meant it as a joke, but his voice trailed off as Julia met his gaze across the room, her eyes narrowing at his attempt to lighten the mood. 

“I know exactly how this ends, David,” she said sadly. “My assassination attempt splashed across every front page in London, with a scandalous sidebar about how my former Bodyguard-turned-lover snuck in to see me at the same hotel where we had our affair. All of London will be talking about us before breakfast.”

She turned away from him, setting her mug on the desk. She grasped the back of the chair to stop her fingers from the shaking they seemed intent on displaying in David’s presence. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. Even just being here with him again made her feel weepy. A feeling she totally despised. 

Julia Montague was not an overly emotional woman. Or at least she hadn’t been a year ago. But a lot had happened in that year, and she was beginning to feel the lasting effects. 

“So?” David finally said with a noncommittal shrug, though he was well-aware Julia couldn’t see him making the motion. “We don’t  _ owe _ them anything, Julia. Let them talk. Haven’t we both done penance for our sins?” 

Julia laughed mirthlessly, turning to face him again as she crossed her arms over her chest. 

“If only it were that easy,” she said, the humor evident in her voice. “After all, I doubt Louise would see it that way. Does she know you’re here?”

The humor between them was gone. And David frowned at the implication. 

Julia had met Louise Rayburn once. That had been before she knew that Louise was nursing a crush on David, though in hindsight, she could hardly say she had been surprised. 

She had been back from Tuscany for just three days when Deepak Sharma and Louise brought her in for questioning. David had gone with her, though he wasn’t allowed in the room when she was speaking with the detectives. He had barely let her out of his sight for more than five minutes since her return. 

Julia had  _ liked  _ Louise then. She saw some of the characteristics in her that she most valued in herself. She was strong, independent, and clearly took no shit from other people. Julia was sure that they were all character traits she had developed from working in a field that was predominantly made up of men. She could relate to that all too well. 

And then, only a month after the scandal with David broke, she had seen them out together. She had locked her eyes on them almost instantly as she used the back entrance at one of her favorite restaurants around the corner from Westminster. The owner had promised her discretion. That no one would see her coming and going after she dined at a table in a low-lit corner. His promise had been too true. No one had seen her, least of all David. They hadn’t spoken at all during that month. It was better not to be seen together. Better for people to think their affair was nothing more than just casual sex. 

Julia froze when she saw them together. David was nursing a pint across from the woman as they spoke in low tones. It all seemed  _ very _ intimate. Louise was resting her hand on David’s arm across the table, and that’s when Julia knew for sure. 

She and David were over. 

“No… she doesn’t know,” David answered honestly, feeling his cheeks flush at the mention of the woman he was currently seeing. “I was in the car when I heard it come over the radio that there had been another attack…” He shoved his hands in his pockets to keep them still. “Jesus, Julia. I just … I needed to see you.” 

He looked around the room. It was strange to be here with her now. After all that had happened. Both inside and outside of this exact suite almost a year ago. The memories were flooding his mind now. Memories of an illicit affair behind closed doors. Of white sheets and red wine and spending long nights crying out each other’s name in pleasure as their bodies rocked against each other. 

Julia didn’t speak. She was overcome with the memories, too. Memories that seemed too familiar in the light of their … current circumstances.

“ _ Are _ you okay, Julia?” He finally said, and he watched as her shoulders drooped heavily. The silence between them was deafening. And somehow, even with the two of them standing only a few steps apart now, Julia had never felt so lonely in her life. 

“That’s a loaded question, isn’t it?” She asks, a forced smile turning up at the edge of her mouth as her gaze finally met his. Green froze on blue for a long time as he thought about his next sentence. It wasn’t his job to worry about her anymore. But despite everything that had happened, he still did. He knew he always would.

“I s’pose so,” he answered, taking a deep breath. “But I just wanted to … I  _ need _ to know that you’re alright.”

Need. Present tense. 

Julia tried not to harp on the use of a single word. That didn’t matter now. It couldn’t.

“You didn’t care if I was alright ten months ago.” Her words are bitter, but she can’t help it as she stares at the man in front of her. So much had gone wrong with them, though she had to admit looking back now she wasn’t really surprised when it all went to shit. They had been destined for heartbreak from the moment they crossed that boundary line in this very room all those months ago. 

It was David’s turn to frown now. 

“Coming here was a mistake,” he finally offered, shifting his weight nervously. He didn’t know what he had expected from her when she saw him after all this time, but this certainly wasn’t it. He was almost sure things were worse now than they had been before. 

“I think it’s best that you leave,” she agreed, turning so her back was facing him as she began to pace the floor of Suite 610. “You can make yourself feel better because you came to see that I was alright. You did the right thing, David. Maybe that will help you sleep at night.”

Her voice was dripping with sarcasm as she tossed the last line carelessly over her shoulder at the man standing in front of her. Taking a deep breath, she left the room, heading into the bedroom. She needed to get away from him. She couldn’t think when they were in the same room together. 

She waited for the outrage. Or for the sound of the door clicking behind him as he left the suite. She was sure he regretted coming here. How could he not? She briefly let her mind wander to what he might tell Louise when he spoke to her. How Julia Montague was the same cold, heartless bitch she had always been. 

That  _ other _ people thought she was, she corrected. David knew her better than that. 

She heard footsteps crossing the living room and swallowed hard. So, it was going to be a fight then. 

Her words had hit their intended mark as David felt himself grow angry. She had some nerve speaking to him like that after everything that had happened between them. Crossing the room in long strides, he came to stand at her door, hesitating outside of it. The two of them knew all too well what it meant when they crossed certain lines. He stared at her incredulously, leaning against the door frame. 

“ _ The right thing _ ?” He repeated tersely, trying to temper the anger he was currently feeling at her words. “Julia, what was  _ right _ for me didn’t include you leaving when things got too hard to handle… or when you were embarrassed to be with me in front of prying eyes.”

“I was  _ never  _ embarrassed of us,” Her response was low and her body tensed defensively at his accusation.

“It sure felt that way!” He cried out, deciding fuck all to boundary lines as he entered her room. He glanced to the bed on his right and quickly looked away as his eyes flashed angrily at her. “The headlines started coming and you ducked for cover. You made a run for it and you left me behind. You didn’t think twice about it,” he reminded her. 

Julia scoffed.

_ “I  _ ran?!” She asked incredulously, raising her voice slightly at the idea that she had done anything other than stand up for them. “What about you? I took everything in stride. Every name they called me, every insult they hurled my way. I was the desperate, wanton woman lusting after her handsome bodyguard. Surely,  _ I _ must have been the one to tempt and seduce you, they said. Men all smirked when they saw me coming, and women whispered behind their hands... They were  _ all _ judging me.. But I did the best I could. And when the rubble cleared ... once it all fell apart, I waited for you to reappear. And you never did.” 

She turned to face him, her voice finally breaking. 

“I didn’t  _ need _ you to save me, but god, David, I  _ wanted  _ you to.” 

Her confession was honest, and David thought he could see the tears welling up in her eyes. He frowned. The fall out after the audio recording was released had been swift. He had been instructed by Anne Sampson not to see Julia again. Under any circumstances. She had convinced him that it was best for his family, for everyone involved, if this was something that was left in the past. Chalked up to a mistake they had both made in the moment. 

_ Better for everyone involved. _ He had wanted to laugh when she had said it. But then reporters started showing up at the hospital to speak to Vicky. There were people watching his children at school. Julia wouldn’t answer his calls. He was placed on desk duty indefinitely, and Julia was removed for her position as Home Secretary. He had started to think maybe Anne had been right. It was better for everyone if what had happened between him and Julia was left in the past. 

He thought about what Julia had said. Had he overestimated her ability to let everything roll off of her? The way she always had in the past? Suddenly, he wasn’t sure anymore. His eyes traveled to a pile of clothes on the bathroom floor that had been tossed into a heap outside of the shower. 

It reminded him of the discarded suit she had shed after Thornton Circus. The way the blood had coated the blazer and her pants, seeping red from the attack. He frowned. He really could have lost her again. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He whispered, and she sighed, running a hand absentmindedly through her hair. 

“Because I’m stubborn,” she admitted softly, blinking back the tears and smiling a bit at the confession they both knew to be true. “And because I thought you knew … and you just didn’t want me anymore.”

It was David’s turn to run a hand through his unruly curls.

“I have  _ never _ not wanted you, Julia…” His tone dropped. “You know that. You  _ know _ me.”

Julia smiled sadly. 

“I did once,” she said, her voice even softer.

That was all it took for David to cross the room to her in four long steps, taking her in his arms and pulling her into his body. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, his head coming to rest on top of her own as he breathed in the scent of her deeply. She had been using the Blackwood shampoo again, and the smell took him right back to many showers for two in the early morning and late at night. Pressing her against the glass as he took control of her body in ways only he knew how to. Imagining the way she dropped to her knees, looking up at him with wide eyes as she took him in her mouth. 

He sighed. 

“You smell good,” he murmured, his lips brushing against her temple and Julia made a slight noise of surprise, resting her head in the crook of his neck. She couldn’t help the little laugh that bubbled from her lips at his honest confession and she smirked. 

“Do I?” she asked with a little smile, closing her eyes. She couldn’t help the thrill that she felt unfurl in her stomach at the feel of his lips against her skin. 

Reaching out, he ran his fingers across her face gently, stroking her jawline as he pulled away to look at her. 

“I kept thinking on my way over here... about how I could have lost you, Julia,” he murmured, staring down at her as his fingers ghosted lightly across her skin. “Just the idea scares the hell out of me…” He admitted, and Julia reached out, placing her fingers over his. 

“Why did you come here, David?” She finally asked breathlessly, and David opened his mouth and shut it again a few times, trying to find the right words. 

“Because I love you, Julia,” he finally whispered. “And after everything that happened … after everything that we’ve been through, I could never forgive myself if something happened to you and I wasn’t here.”

He felt himself growing emotional and he blinked a few times to try to rid his eyes of the tears he felt welling up there. Julia gave him a soft smile, suddenly feeling teary at his confession, as well. 

“I’m alright, David,” she reassured him gently, smiling as he brushed a stray tear from her cheek. “I’m alright, and I’m glad you’re here,” she whispered. 

That earned a genuine smile from David as he looked down at her. 

“I really thought you might ask me to leave,” he confessed, and Julia giggled. 

“I thought about it,” she told him matter-of-factly, shaking her head a little in amusement. “But I’ve missed you,” she confessed, her voice softening. 

Taking in her face and the emotion written clearly across it, David hesitated and Julia looked up at him with a puzzled stare. 

“What?” she breathed nervously, her gaze meeting his. He hadn’t said that he had missed her in return, and she suddenly found herself wondering if she had made a mistake. Maybe he didn’t feel that way about her anymore. Plus, there was Louise… She frowned. 

“I was wondering what your reaction would be … if I kissed you?” He said lowly, feeling anticipation build in his stomach. He prayed he hadn’t read the situation wrong and royally fucked things up when Julia didn’t speak for a long minute. 

She found herself fidgeting with the sleeve of her sweater, biting down on the edge of her lip. She wasn’t sure this wouldn’t end in disaster all over again. But the weight of the day was finally bearing down on her, and she didn’t want to think anymore. She just wanted to be here. In this room with David again. Like it had been before. 

“I … would allow it,” she whispered, feeling her breath hitch in her chest as he took another step toward her, his hands reaching out to grasp her face gently on each side. 

The both chuckled, suddenly feeling a little bit nervous. 

Julia’s eyes traveled his face, staring at those blue eyes that she always felt so hypnotized by and moving down slowly, finally settling on his lips. She looked back up to his eyes and felt a bit unnerved by his intense stare. 

Closing her eyes, she was the first to lean forward to meet his lips with her own. There was a trepidation there that reminded her of the first time they had kissed in this hotel room, and she let out a breathy sigh against his mouth as they finally met. The kiss was slow and tender, and everything Julia had imagined it would be. 

She felt his grasp on her tighten as he moved to wrap his arm around her waist and his other hand moved down to her neck, grasping her to him as he deepened the kiss. 

The two of them had always had chemistry, but David couldn’t deny the feeling that kissing her like this felt a lot like coming home after being away for the better part of a year. 

Her fingers found the curls at the back of his head, and she smiled against his lips as they finally parted for air. Julia leaned into David, settling close to his body as they stood together in her bedroom. 

Something was happening here, and they could both feel the effects of it. 

It was a moment before either of them spoke again. 

“Are you really alright, Julia?” David asked quietly, his arms curling around her waist as she held tight to him

Her response was a deep sigh as she thought over her answer. 

“I will be,” she finally said, settling in the crook of his neck. “I’m tired… In more ways than one,” she admitted, her eyes closing again. She felt his lips against her temple and she smiled again. 

David lost track of how long they stood like that. He thought Julia might have even fallen asleep standing up, until she finally spoke again. 

“David?” Her voice was timid, and he thought she might have sounded a lot like Ella in that moment. Shy. Uncertain. 

“Yes?” He asked, stepping back from her and meeting her eyes. Julia’s cheeks flushed under his gaze. 

“Will you…,” she hesitated, her heart hammering in her chest at the prospect of being rejected. “Will you hold me until I fall asleep?” She asked, her voice dropping to a whisper. 

She hated to admit that she felt the safest when she was wrapped up in David’s embrace. But tonight, she was feeling even more grateful than usual for those strong arms around her. 

He smiled. “Of course I will,” he answered with a smile, taking her hand and bringing it to his lips. 

They had a lot to talk about and a lot to figure out, but all of that could wait. And it would. 


End file.
